So the NES does work, it just needed some coercing. Considering all the blunt trauma the console has going through over the years—the amount of times it had fallen the top of the TV in my youth is staggering—the fact it works at all is nothing short of amazing. Or so I thought.
Evidently, early Nintendo have a penchant for being nigh-indestructible. Some listless googling brought me to a Gameboy currently housed at the Nintendo World Store in NYC that is still operational after being blown the hell up in the Gulf War.
I also owned an original Gameboy but, unfortunately, I succeeded where the Gulf War failed. My second most vivid childhood memory involves me tripping up the stairs with my Gameboy in hand. I fumbled the Gameboy and ended spiking it on tile floor at the top of the stairs because I was a huge putz. Although physically sound, it never turned on again.
Sadly, my most vivid childhood is from when I was 8 and saw a banner ad for a website that promised me pictures of women having sex with loaded firearms. As you might expect, the banner also featured a woman with a gun in her vagina.
My family’s early adoption of AOL was not without a price.