Wreck-It Ralph will likely be a better Mortal Kombat movie than the Mortal Kombat movie

I recently had the experience of watching the Mortal Kombat  on Blu-ray. If you’re looking for something to do and have access to Mortal Kombat on Blu-ray I highly recommend doing nothing instead. If for some reason you’re walking around your home with it and you trip and it flies out of your hand and into your Blu-ray player, don’t you dare press play.

Honestly, I don’t know why studios release Blu-ray versions of 90’s CGI-heavy movies. High definition is not always a flattering and in some cases it’s like watching sausage get made: you are made privy to details and textures you were better off not knowing about.

As a kid, all I ever wanted was a decent video game movie. As an adult, that hasn’t changed. I don’t want it to be decent by existing video game film standards. I’m talking passable in a general cinematic sense.

I saw Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within in theatres. I was in 6th grade at the time. As I’ve written previously, the FF series on the SNES was my jam growing up. I’m not really sure what I was expecting, but what I got was a weird computer animated movie about ghost aliens and Steve Buscemi.

A quick glance at the movie’s IMDB page has revealed to me that Alec Baldwin also did voice acting for the film. Good for him?

Disney’s upcoming film Wreck-It Ralph looks like it might give me the kind of cinematic experience my inner child has been yearning for. The movie follows former arcade game bad guy Ralph (voiced by John C. Riley) as he jumps from game to game because he’s sick of being the villain.  If any of the terrible things I’ve yelled at Donkey Kong are any indication, I’d also get sick of being the bad guy in an early 80’s arcade game.

The trailer, which contains a fantastic use of Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime” as well some other shitty song that totally isn’t “Once in a Lifetime,” contains cameos of several video game characters. These include:

  • Bowser from Super Mario Bros.
  • Dr. Robitnik from Sonic the Hedgehog
  • That weird Rhino boss from Altered Beast
  • Zangief and Street Fighter
  • Kano from Mortal Kombat
  • Pac-Man
  • Clyde, the dumbest ghost from Pac-Man
  • A zombie which is presumably from House of the Dead

Jack McBrayer also voices one of the main characters. In addition to continuously being the best part of 30 Rock, he also has some really good advice for keeping your bitches in line.


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